Whats Eating Gilbert Grape?

Today's a good day,
Lost 1lb
This morning
Jelly Pot (8cals)
Water
5 Starwberries (10cals)

went to the gym burned 350cals
came home, had diet coke (2cals)
Jelly Pot (8cals)

So i'm proud of myself

hope everyones doing okay

talk x xx

I want to be so thin there is no room for pain

moms talking me to the hospital on Thursday

i'm shitting it.
i'm so terrified :(:(:(:(

please someone write back
x x x x

Hey,
Does the ABC diet really work?
please can someone give me some pointers/tips?
thankyou lovelies
hope your all doing okay

xx

has aim?

i could really do with a buddy :(

i would be greatfull if you could comment back x
x x x

Of living this life
I hate myself so much.
I used to have so much fun, I used to laugh all the time, go out with friends, eat whatever, whenever i felt like it.

My whole mood of the day depends on what the scales tell me in the morning when i wake up.
I shout and my parents for the slightest things, we don't realise it, but something so simple as food, something so 'everyday' and 'ordinary' in 'normal' life, has taken over.

I used to be so sporty,
i used to train for County Netball/ Badminton 4times a week, then on the weekend and other times during the week i used to have my own horse, so i'd fuss over and ride him.
I've lost him, he's gone to a new home now so that mom says i have some more 'free time'

i stress my mom out. The person all my life where i've told everything and shared everything, know's nothing about this, this is the biggest secret i've ever kept from her. I cant be 100% truthfull to my boyfriend, he is my best friend and one of my only friends i have, which is why he's my everything, i cant even tell him about my problem.
or how sick i feel in the mind
How constantly i have to go on the scales
How discutsting i feel; and how everyone would probably be better off without me.
To have people stare at you, and WISH you would eat something infront of them, just
this once, so that THEY can feel better about themselves that your eating.
Although your absaloutly terrified to eat infront of them because what your mind is telling you that they are constantly looking at you, and if you even look at food they're gonna call you a Fat Pig, and tell all their mates to look at FATTY over there eying up the food.

You can be absaloutly starving, and when you go into the kitchen to look into the cupboards all you think of is how fat you'll get if you eat it.
Or you CANT eat it, you just cant swallow it because really deep down you know you dont want it.

Your mom tries to help you, and you tell her that you've eaten, even though you dont because anything you eat on your own, you feel like your only cheating yourself. So you just dont..
When you burst out crying in the Supermarket and spend over an hour in one isle looking on the back of food labels and do not leave to you are completely satisfied you have bought the most lowest calorie/fat product you can find.

What you really want, what you really search for, is something that will fill you up, something that you can chew and swallow, that will satisfy you
that contains 0Calories and 0fat.
except, that food never exists.
and you hate yourself for it.

You cry infront of the mirror everytime you look at it because there is still this fat lump staring back at you.

Constantly feeling cold
Dizzy
Unloved
Uncared for
Listless
Tired
Wobbley
every step is an effort
yest every step you take, you keep gonig because you know that every step will eventually make you feel better because you'll be losing weight.
and everytime you gain it.

you drop. straight back down again,
feeling self hatred in yourself
feeling miserable.

My sisters downstairs having a Chicken Korma for breakfast
it smells fucking discusting, how can she cumsume over 500calories, just in the morning?
No wander she's getting fatter.
i'm going to go and make myself a low calorie strawberry smoothie, so i can go to the gym later and burn even more.
waiting for her to get out of the kitchen first,

Stats
CW: 124lbs (discusting 8st 12.)
GW: 118 By end of June

I'm going to do it,
Gym everyday, burning more than twice what i'm consuming.
its gonig well after a tough weekend

Think Thin
 x x x

 Can someone tell me why no-one has ever completed the ABC diet?
i need explanations xxx

"why do you only drink coffee"
"your so fat, drinking just coffee wont make you thinner" 

thanks. now i feel even more worthless.
shes just shoved 2 veggie burgers (300 cals EACH 19g FAT EACH)
down her throat AFTER she;s had the remains on the roast dinner my mom cooked & 2 packets of Uncle Ben's rice.
and she calls me fat?

all i've had since friday night is water all day saturday and today i've had 3cups of coffee,
and she says that to me.

i'm sobbing in my room,
please someone chat?

charlottefears2@hotmail.com

x x

add my new account girls if your ana/mia

ChsRomance

x x

mom is taking me to Starbucks to spend some "quality time together"

anyone tried thr green iced tea there?
80cals 0fat,
i'll have that
seeing as i'm on a liquid fast

todays going really well so far

2 cups of coffee
1 bottle of coke zero

and i'm not even hungry

if mom makes me sit down for tea, there having a roast dinner,
so i'll just say i feel ill, or i'll make myself something later, and just dirty some dishes to make it look as though i've eaten

stupid parents.
i'm not eating.

just the thought of it makes me feel sick to the stomach.

so far i've had 2 cups of coffee,
i'm going to buy a bottle of diet coke on the way out,
that should last me all day
then i'll ask mom to call and get some from the shop on the way home later to put in the fridge,
diet coke (2cals)
wheeeey

fasting until tuesday or wednesday
i'm taking my 'dinner' upto my room tonight, i'll take up a plastic bag earlier on, i'm going to hide the food in my draw, then when they go out, i'll walk down to the bin down my street, that way they wont be able to prove i havnt eaten it.

i hope today is a good day, its raining outside, which has already brought down my mood

anyone else fasting?


xxx 

so tired, my boyfriend kept me up until half 2 this morning, then we had to get up at 5 to collect his sister back from the airport.

at least by not seeing him during the week i can focus on my fasting.
Can someone tell me how to lose as much during one week please?

i'm so addicted to diet coke,
it fills you up, gives you energy, and it only has 2cals
how amazing is that?

someone please help me, i'm desperate

x x x 

 

or texting buddies please,
 add me @

charlottefears2@hotmail.com

x x x

well  i'm home
i really need some support girls, i'm feeling so shit.
i've put on two pounds because my boyfriend made me eat that pasta bake.
i feel so miserable.
all my hard work last week at the gym, all my fasting.
fucking hell.
inbetween my exams i'm fasting, so on the days i havnt got them, i'm water fasting, because i need to get down to 115. possibly even more if i can, but thats my goal weight.

i hope your all doing so much better than me x
x x x

im goingto have to fast tomorrow and monday, my boyfriend cooked me this pasta bake
he pilled sit loads on his,
it almost killed me eating it, it took me nearly twenty minutes to eat a quarter of what was on his plate,
i feel so miserable
i didnt want to eat it. 
its reached far past the point where i do een enjoy eating
its a chore

and i only id it because i think i'm starting to get on his nerves
his words are "you havnt eaten all day, please eat something, just for me"

 Sorry one last thing

i'm really worried
i havn't had a period in 3 months

i know i'm not pregnant

is any one else experiencing the same?

x x x x i'm really worried

took me into starbucks today
there was the most hugest fat lady you've ever seen working behind the till.

i saw her sneak herself a huge brick slice of cake

i just thought,
fat fucking bitch.

she really was repulsive.

use that to help you fast girls, the thought of turning into a monster like that haunts me like no other.
i'm proud to be anorexic when you see people like that trooping the streets

x x x x 

i had 1 coffee,
and then 1 slice of wieght watchers bread (49cals) 
i'm so scared about gonig round to my boyfriends later, he's bought a tub of ice cream, i made sure he got the lightest one there was.
i think i would of had to fast the rest of the week if he'd made me eat ben and jerries :(:(:(
he's bought some 'haribo light sweets' which have loads less sugar and calories
and he's bought some alco pops for us.

i was looking forward to seeing him so much. 
i'm going to HAVE to eat all of this shit, i was feeling so proud of myself after losing 3lbs this week 
i dont know what to do :(
i'm going to have to keep it down too, because his parents are away so theres gonig to be only us in the house so i wont be able to throw it back up because he'll hear me.

i need to some help

i was in the supermarket for and hour in the chocolate/sweets isle
my mom was getting pissed off with me, i so wanted to get some chocolate for jason, but i just COULDNT put it in the basket
i was in there a hole hour persistantly checking the back of all the labels, i just curled up on the floor in the isle and cried,
i just cant make myself do it. not even for him.
does anyone else have the same problem?
please let me know i'm not alone in feeling like this
i left the shop with 1 packet of extra light sweets, the lowest ones i could find, and the pancakes he asked me to get for him. :(

sorry about the long post, i hope your all doing better than me, i feel so fat and ugly.

x x x x x

 Anyone want to be texting buddies?
UK (:

x x x